Read more of his story at this link.

From: Mexico
E-mail: [email protected]

Michael Zargarov
Tuesday, 3/28/00, 10:28 AM

I once attended a of the "Baha'i Association on AIDS, Sexuality and Addictions". At the time, I was a registered Baha'i still trying with all my heart and mind to be "straight". The name didn't bother me, then. The conference, which had about 20 attendees, was held at a beautiful conference center owned by some Baha'is in Washington State, with a spectacular view of a snow-capped mountain. We stayed in cabins, ate communally, and met in a large room with a big fireplace for prayers, consultation and hugs! At this time I was still denying my Homosexuality, when asked by Baha'i administrators or Assemblies if I was "Still tested" with what I had inquired about, from the NSA, when as a very new Baha'i, I'd written for guidance. At that time, it was still a Big Taboo even to talk about our situation, much less have a meeting; even though our meeting focused on our faithfullness to the Covenant and our attempts to "Cure ourselves" of the "disability" of homosexuality. Though I really enjoyed the conference, feeling I'd gotten much support and love from it, it was not until at least two months AFTER attending that gathering that I received a letter from a Counsellor, asking me to "Clarify" what had gone on between me and another participant in the conference. I wrote back, admitting sheepishly, that, indeed, we had kissed. The second letter from the Counsellor intimated that I was lying, as the other person involved, a Baha'i with AIDS, had accused me of RAPING him! I responded, beyond shock, that if such a horrendous lie Had Been True, that I would expect to be accused to the police; arrested; and brought to court. None of THIS ever occured. I look back on the whole thing now and realize that it was just a Smear Campaign by a certain member of the NSA, who at that time was afraid that I would either "OUT" him, or reveal the tremendous misuse of National Funds which I had discovered while working on some committees, before and after the World Congress in 1992. (If I HAD raped a man; visibly an AIDS carrier; wouldn't I have contracted the HiV Virus? 8 years later, I am STILL HiV Negative.) The association of Baha's which purports to help deal with Homosexuality and OTHER "addictions" is, I suppose, a benefit to such as cannot accept themselves as the perfect creation of a perfect creator. I, on the other hand, am able, after many years of vain struggle, tear-full, heartfelt pleas and prayers, and sacrifices...to see myself as a Homosexual Man who was chosen by Baha'u'llah to help carry forward His ever-advancing civilization. I offer my prayers and love to all who suffer and struggle, and I hope that my own experiences help make the lives and tests of others easier to bear. In El Abha!

Michael Zargarov
Gay Baha'i